To the “progressive” Portland guy…

Internet dating.  We’ve all done it. It’s a socializing style unto itself, with it’s own taboos and mores.  Actually it’s basically a total fucking free for all.  Because it’s anonymous, folks are free to act like total shitheads… but it ain’t all bad or I would’ve given it up years ago.

Here’s one example of what I’m talking about:

Dude: Hey, I like your pictures! It’s so cool that you’re a comedian.

Me: Why thank you. Hello, I’m Bri

Dude: Hi I’m ____.  So what are your plans for the day?

Me: Oh, I’m doing some writing before work and then after work I have a meeting and some open mics for comedy.

Dude: Wow, so busy, I guess we won’t have time to hang out. 😛 (*)

Me: Oh, yeah def not today.  This whole week isn’t great actually.  You could ask me out for next week though!

Dude: Oh I’m better at meetups than traditional man/woman gender concept dating.

Me: uh… I’m just busy dude.

**********End Transmisison

HEY PORTLAND GUYS!  I’m glad you’re feminists, I’m glad you’re oddballs and I’m glad you march to the beat of your own drum; a drum that you made when you spent a year living in Turkey while you were on tour with Sigur Ros (or whatever the fuck thing you are passionate about).  BUT, dating is the process of TWO people kicking it and it’s not “original” or “cool” not ask me to dinner because of your aversion to normalcy.

I love dinner.  How dare you.

*He really put that emoticon in there.  No judgements emoticon fans.  I’m a bit proud that as I was transcribing this interaction I had to think for a minute about how to create that stupid face with a tongue sticking out.

If you stick your tongue out at me in person I will slap your face.

Thanks for listening, I love you,


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