(Originally published on The Portland Mercury’s Blogtown, PDX on April 24th, 2015: http://www.portlandmercury.com/BlogtownPDX/archives/2015/04/24/lets-do-it-with-bri-pruett-how-to-pick-a-sex-playlist)
Look, no one likes Kelly Rowland (not even her parents)—but she did make one contribution to the pop cultural zeitgeist. That contribution is the 3:59 long R&B opus“Motivation” that more folks have banged to than the entire Luther Vandross catalog. “Go lover, don’t you dare slow down…” Thanks Kelly.
There are a trove of artists that cater to grown folks business. Artists like Marvin Gaye, Prince, Sade. They make it easy on the rest of us; no bedroom DJing required. Put em’ on and let em’ roll, confidant those artists will cradle us in their velvety tones all the way to the sex bank.
There are folks who told me they don’t go sexin’ with a soundtrack, which totally surprised me, but then, I don’t do much without mah beats. I suppose it is a little juvenile: “Hang on honey, before we get to fuckin’, I needs to cue up MY FAVORITE TUUUNES MAAAAN!” Maybe because most of the sex I’ve had is in proximity to a roommate with paper-thin apartment walls, I’ve always had a playlist.
Like with any foreplay action, you are setting a tone for the kind of sex you’re going to have. If you’re trying to get something sweet and tender, try Bon Iver. If you’re trying to do something sexy and sweaty, stick to R&B like Miguel. Something dirty and slightly kinkier, something with a darker, more-electronic vibe, try The Weeknd or Massive Attack. If you’re having kinky-as-hell, raw, nightmare sex… you probably already have the details of your scene all picked out, from the spreader bar to the German industrial playlist.
Generally it’s up to the host to pick the tunes and have an appropriate bedroom sound system. A laptop with no speakers will not get you laid—nor will a free Pandora station. If you are broke, try 8tracks.com or Songza, services that let’s you make and listen to mixed tapes. Better yet, you can enter in your mood/activity/artist and it’ll let tapes roll that share that tag. (Example: “sex” “chill”)
Bedroom jams can backfire horribly from time to time. You don’t want a mix to be so on point that your lover pauses between strokes to yell “THAT’S MY JAM!” Instant boner killer. Sometimes song lyrics can evoke powerful memories. You don’t want to pick songs that evoke a vivid memory, like of an ex-partner. An easy fix is choosing instrumentals. A friend recommended French hip hop; unless your lover is bilingual, the focus will be on your derriere.
Maybe you are a total square like me, you don’t have a ton of time to make mixed tapes and you’ve been recycling the same busted-ass playlist like you’re a sound engineer fromGuardians of the Galaxy (that soundtrack was hack, deal with it). That’s why I enlisted some local music aficionados to, ahem, fill the gap.
Ladies and gentlemen, after the jump, your new sex tape:
De-De – S&M (Sexy Music) (Rated X)
Dam-Funk – I Like Your Big Azz (Girl)
K-Maxx – Cupcakin’
Psychic Mirrors – Midnight Special
Diiv – “(Druun)”
Chastity Belt – “Black Sail”
Young Prisms – “To Touch You”
The Blow – “A Kiss”
DeAngelo – Dreaming eyes of mine
Tokimonsta w/ Anderson Paak – Realla
The Dream – Turnt Out
Aphex Twin – Selected Ambient Works 85-92 (any track will do)
ABBA – “Eagle”
Marvin Gaye – “I Want You”
Neu! – “Weissensee”
and ya girl… Bri Pruett
Ne-YO – Lazy Love
Usher – Climax
Miguel – Pussy is mine
Big K.R.I.T.- Third Eye