New YouTube Video!

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A rare clean set about being mixed race living in Los Angeles, being a BBW in Spain and being a “big guy” in high school.

Video by Randall Lawrence
Taped at Helium Comedy Club, Portland, Oregon

Podcasts Drop in June

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I’m rolling with my new digs in beautiful Highland Park, Los Angeles, California. Shows are coming up in July and I have some Podcasts for everyone who misses me in Portland and beyond!

 

This is a new podcast from my dear friend Amy Miller and her co-hosts Steve Hernandez and John Michael Bond (who are also my friends). They began this podcast to talk about the BIG QUESTIONS. Find out what prayers I whisper into the heavens and check it out!

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My dear friend Alex Falcone has build Read it and Weep into a media empire! He made me get up early on a Saturday to watch The Mummy and then we talked about it. I think Tom Cruise is overrated and we need new TV stars because Chris Pratt can’t be everywhere. Anthony Lopez and other guest Jeff is super delightful!

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STELLAR tickets available now!

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Photo by Leah Nash of NashCo -Poster Design by Nicole Kennelly

-BUY YOUR STELLAR TICKETS HERE-

-RSVP ON FB-

I’M SO EXCITED TO DO THIS SHOW. Rehearsals with Jason Rouse started in FEBRUARY 2016. I’ve been developing these stories, imagining, playing at open mics and cultivating resources and images for this show all year and now I can tell you all. I’m so blessed to have people who support my work. My kind sponsors deserve all your patronage and the regular audience I’ve found through my column at the Portland Mercury, my radio show on XRAY.fm, my weekly show Earthquake Hurricane at Velo Cult and the regular amazing showcases around Portland: It’s Gonna Be OK, Control Yourself, Cool Kids Patio Show/Doug Fir series, LiveWire!, and of course Late Night Action. This show is for my OG supporters.

What is this show? I just want folks to have a great time. I’ve spent hours working on the house music. I’ll be sharing stories and jokes and bits and juicy details and strategies and mantras about sex, gender, dating, hormones, attachment, bodies, and D’Angelo. Y’know, everyone’s favorite and most relevant stuff.

I’m busy with the show and out of town a lot in the coming weeks. See you in October!

Much love. -B

 

New Feature Video

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Long-set at Helium from back in February – lots of crowd work at the end so check it out. Shout out to my hairstylist mom for making my hair SUPER SHINY!

Let’s Do It with Bri Pruett: Putting the “sensual” back in consensual

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ya girl

Illustration by Erika Moen

There’s only one sure-fire way to avoid being in a consensual gray area in a sexual scenario; use your grown-up words and explicitly ask for consent. If you’re a shy or less verbal person, this might seem like a daunting task.

First let’s deal with some of your concerns…

1. I don’t like “asking.”
People (especially men) have told me that “asking permission” feels weak, that it establishes a power dynamic from the get-go that may not be a total turn on. Can I suggest this adjustment to your logic: the “ask” is a sign of ultimate respect, a new “laying your cape over a mud puddle.” Because who can remember to bring their cape all the time? If your boo is into consent, asking IS foreplay.

2. It makes sex so mechanical.
Maybe there is a small loss of spontaneity. But if you get consent beforehand, or better yet, have a grown up discussion of what you are into and when/where you want to get it, you’ll have the green light to get as weird-as-you-wanna-be when the time comes. I’ll take kink over spontaneity any day.

3. Girl’s are the brakes, boys are the gas.
Why are you even reading this column, you dumb dinosaur?! There’s an assumption that cis-gender straight males are ALWAYS trying to get it IN and it’s the “woman’s job to put on the brakes.” It’s 2016, dummies. That kind of over-simplification is over. Yes, let’s acknowledge the long history of teaching men to “ask” consent and women to “give” consent *cough* rape culture *cough*. However, women can help this process by participating in the culture of consentthemselves, asking and granting permission also.

4. I don’t know how.
For a lot of us, this is new. We’re finding the language, the rhythms and the emotions associated with consent. It’s OK for it to feel awkward. We’re all gonna be so good at this soon (a great resource is sex educator/graphic artist Erika Moen’s blog entry on consent). If you’re just getting your feet wet, here are some phrases to try out:

Can I….?
Will you…?
Would it feel good if I ….?
Would you like it if I…?
Do you like it when…?

Here are some phrases that sound less like questions:

It would feel so good if you…
It turns me on when you…
When you _____, it makes me hot
I love it when you ____
I want you to _____

Okay now here are some perfectly reasonable verbs to add to this sentence:

touch
kiss
lick
suck
stick it inside (where applicable)
take off
keep going

Finish it with a subject:

My/your dick
My/Your Pussy
My/Your Legs
My/Your Butt
His/Her/their dick/pussy/legs/butt

Try it with your partner, your weekend lover, or whatever lucky, sunsick fool you hook up with tonight. And don’t thank me too much when you ask permission to fuck and your consent-lovin’ bae floods their basement.

Wishing you great love and hot, consensual action,
@BriPruett